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• A Cannon for Pepper

  Shaking isn’t manly. Grinding is manly. Cannons are manly. Grinding so dominantly that your pepper grinder can plausibly be called a cannon is definitely manly. So is deftly tooled precision of any kind. But the Männkitchen’s Pepper Cannon isn’t an expensive gimmick for the insecure. Its stainless steel burrs will grind peppercorns to the exact right size, among 50 settings, and this will end up mattering to anybody who spends a lot of time seasoning meat or building a rub. The all-metal construction will last decades. And it’ll grind your pepper so fast it’ll feel like the Dust Bowl got spicy.

• A Cooking Knife That’s Good in a Fight

  New West Knifeworks

  Tactical Outdoor Chef Knife

  Every man knows that knives aren’t just for cooking. What if you’re attacked by bandits? Or you need to, uh, cut a rope? The New West tactical outdoor chef knife looks exactly like the pretty, expensive, handmade, full-tang knife that it is. But pick it up, why don’t you? Feel the heft—and that balance, forged by a beveled swage grind atop the blade. Feels good in your hand, doesn’t it? Note its form: It is nearly a Bowie knife, the shape of American stabbing. Damn, you could probably win a knife fight with this. I have twirled this knife in my hand, feeling my oats.

  But in the meantime, until you use this knife to save your family and maybe the whole country … it’s actually a hell of a meat and grill knife. The sharp tip is good for butterflying, the serrated cutout offers twine- or tomato-cutting utility, and the shape is ideal to cleave thick slabs of tender meat or butterfly a fish. I didn’t know I loved this knife as much as I did until I misplaced it for a moment after grilling. Man, I was mad.

• For Super Soft Brillo Beards

  Photograph: Eric Ravenscraft

  Duke Cannon Supply Co.

  Best Damn Beard Oil

  If you put words Amazon doesn’t like in a product’s name, that immediately makes it more manly. To wit, there’s Duke Cannon’s Best Damn Beard Oil, for scratchy facial hair. This beard oil helps prevent ingrown hairs and makes facial hair feel softer to the touch. Though, please note, the bottle says explicitly that it’s “not for clowns,” so don’t buy this for any Pagliaccis in your life. —Eric Ravenscraft

• For Powerful Coffee

  Photograph: Matthew Korfhage

  Moccamaster

  KGBV Select Coffee Maker

  Just look at that name: Moccamaster. This is a coffeemaker that drinks and breathes pure power and precision. The Technivorm Moccamaster is burly, yet precise. It makes old-school drip coffee, better than that fancy Starbucks stuff. But what the manly man in your life should truly love about the Moccamaster is that it’s real hand-tooled craftsmanship. It is perhaps the world’s only high-end coffee maker that looks like a power tool made by DeWalt, and it is just as sturdy. It’s been handmade since 1968 in the Netherlands, a country where their idea of a party is often just blowing things up. The precision-made Moccamaster will keep your coffee within a four-degree range for optimum brewing. And its parts can be replaced or repaired, just like the engine of an old car. Judging from others’ experience, it’ll probably last you decades. What a machine. Moccamaster.

• The Most Tactical Pants

  Ten Thousand

  Tactical Pant

  These pants are the most tactical pants of all pants, according to WIRED Reviews team operations manager Scott Gilbertson. Cargo pants look like a baggy bouquet of pockets. But these pants? They are for men of action. They are stretch canvas, svelte, sturdy. They have pockets inside other pockets, pockets that remove traces of being pockets. If you’re the sort of guy who wants to look good, without looking like you want to look good, these pants are your pants.

• A Sharp Blade for Shaving

  Photograph: Matthew Korfhage

  Shaving ain’t manly shaving unless it’s sharp on your neck. A Leaf Thorn single-blade safety razor (8/10, WIRED Recommends) offers what they call in the barber trade an “aggressive” shave, the kind of risk that breeds reward. The reward is skin that’s baby-smooth. It is the skin of competence and elegant aggressiveness. Of men who know from shaving. It’s the shave you expect George Clooney might exact in O, Brother, Where Art Thou?

• The Best Hottest Heat

  Photograph: Matthew Korfhage

  Flatiron Pepper Co.

  Premium Pepper Flakes

  Who needs tepid pizza peppers when you can have Carolina Reaper pizza peppers, ghost pepper chili shake, and peppers named for scorpions? Whether outrageous heat or merely big flavor, these pepper flake mixes from Flatiron Pepper Co. are multiple orders of magnitude more amped than basic red pepper bits—running the gamut from an “I Can’t Feel My Face” capsaicin dare to a full-throated Hatch-habanero chili mix whose intensity arrives mostly as flavor. Barbecue sauce and hot sauce are a merely basic manosphere obsession. Nuclear-level chili flakes is god-tier. These turn pizza into bragging rights, and salad into pain. It’s a gift made for every brother-in-law you’ve got.

• For Carrying Stupid Heavy Loads. Because You Can

  The GoRuck GR1 is an incredibly comfortable pack, but don’t hold that against it. Throw in a 30 lb Ruck Plate ($99), and somewhere around the 100-mile mark in your ruck, you should begin to sweat blood. The GR1 is a bomb-proof pack, possibly literally, but that’s probably classified. The outside of the pack is made of 1,000-denier Cordura (for comparison, most of the outdoor industry gets by with 210, maybe 500 if a company is trying to man up). Here’s what we know: if the GR1 is manly enough for former SEALs and Green Berets, it’s manly enough for the man you’re giving a gift. —Scott Gilbertson

• A Manly Shave Bowl Set

  Manly men do things the hard way, then spend even more time telling you why the hard way is the best way. They don’t go squirting premade shaving foam on themselves, if they can lather their own foam. Foam that smells like sandalwood and cedar. Foam that repels moths. A brush and marble shave bowl—heavy, sturdy, and handsome—is a classic man-thing from another time. Lathering this bowl with shave soap is like performing an ancient man-ritual, channeling the spirits of the Greatest Generation. After years of spurning spray foam that smells like bad gin, this ritual is now mine too. Note that Supply’s shave soap is dense and utilitarian. But for a really, really extravagant lather? Try this shave soap from Leaf ($18).

• For Trimming Your Hedge

  BALLS

  V3 Archibald Electric Razor

  Some companies try to be subtle when marketing products aimed at grooming your junk, with euphemisms like “Look your best, all over.” Then there’s BALLS. Cofounded by Matt Edge and Tyler Ball (what are the odds?), this company makes electric razors like the Archibald trimmer ($69) specifically aimed at trimming hair in hard-to-trim places.

  What makes this different from a typical razor? It’s completely waterproof, so you can even use it in the shower. It also has a small LED under the razor, so you can better see what you’re doing down where the sun doesn’t shine. Beyond that, the razor performs pretty well in terms of shaving without nicking sensitive skin, which would be enough to recommend it without all the bells and whistles. —Eric Ravenscraft

• Beef in a Box

  Pat LaFrieda Meat Purveyors

  Delivery Steaks

  Pat LaFrieda is a New York butcher. His dad was a butcher, and his dad’s dad was a butcher, and so was the dad before that. The first butcher became a butcher after he got in a fistfight outside a butcher shop. This is Naples, Italy, we’re talking about, where you sell meat or you are the meat. (We made this proverb up, but it seems right.) Anyway, this is not just good but actually great beef in a box. Pat LaFrieda beef is the beef served at some of the most famous restaurants in New York. It will also come in the mail, wherever you are: fresh, never frozen. And then it goes on the fire. According to WIRED meat delivery guide boss Scott Gilbertson, smart people wait for that super-fresh beef with a catcher’s mitt, then cook it right up. Beef this good, you don’t make it wait.

• An “Ultra-Tough” Cooler

  RTIC

  RTIC 45QT Ultra-Tough Cooler

  You might wonder whether black is the most natural color for a cooler, given its propensity for absorbing heat. OK, and? Suck it up, and embrace the steely, Vader-esque manliness of this Ultra-Tough cooler from RTIC. It’s roto-molded, natch, but it’s also filled with 2.8 inches of foam. I have tested the 45-quart version while tailgating in temps where the cooler was actually helping keep our seltzers from exploding.

  The Ultra-Tough is a beast to carry by yourself (the manly way, the way John Wayne would carry a cooler) because it weighs almost 30 pounds empty. This means it’s about 55 pounds with a 24-pack of Bud Light, and 60 pounds if you toss in a 5-pound bag of ice from the store. But the foam handles mounted on free-swinging ropes make it manageable. In terms of build quality, this RTIC cooler is actually a little more solid than the Yeti size 65 that I previously owned, especially when it comes to the leak-free screw-in drain plug. —Martin Cizmar

• For the Bedroom

  It’s a bottle of lube in the shape of a bullet. How much more manly can you get? Indeed, the company’s YouTube channel leans heavily into advising men doing manly things, like laying pipe and cooking sausages. Thankfully, this lube is quite viscous and even made it into our Best Lubes guide. —Eric Ravenscraft

• A Crate of Menly

  Photograph: Louryn Strampe

  Man Crates

  World Tour Jerky Crate

  What could be more manly than beef jerky? Beef jerky that arrives in a crate with a “Man Crates” brand stamped on the sides. That you have to open with a crowbar. That’s also stamped “Man Crates.” This crate deeply upset me because I was struggling to open it with the included, tiny, useless crowbar. (I’m not very manly.) I used my womanly charms on it, also known as prying it open with a screwdriver while swearing a lot and contemplating running it over with my car.

  Luckily, the nine different varieties of jerky inside are gender-inclusive—and delicious. I especially liked the spicy-sweet bacon jerky and the savory sausages, and I know any jerky enthusiast would find something in this crate that delighted them. And I suppose the Prising of the Crate is fun, which is why I’m going to re-glue the lid on and use it as packaging for a gag gift this holiday season. —Louryn Strampe

• For Protein-Packed Pancakes

  Photograph: Eric Ravenscraft

  Kodiak

  Power Cakes Flapjack and Waffle Mix

  Do you need a more powerful pancake? A weightier waffle? A more formidable flapjack? Don’t we all? The Kodiak Power Cakes mix delivers 14 grams of protein into a single pancake. Just add water (or milk and eggs for bonus protein). This might not be marketed specifically at manly men, but this pancake mix is prominently branded with a giant bear. And what’s more manly than a bear? —Eric Ravenscraft